Relationship and Marriage counseling can assist you find out how compatible you are.
The two most important factors that determine how similar you are as a couple are:
A similar degree of psychological health and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.
What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the inherant energy or drives that are inherently part of us as humans. Our actions are highly engaged with and often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.
Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual type are often with the basic existential needs as they translate into our modern society, for example, finance, food, accomodation, health, physical safety and comfort.
Being safe and physically comfortable are essential, and they will often bring these supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice lighting, uncomfortable chairs, the room temperature, when the coffee break will be, and whether they will enjoy the food provided. They also tend to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of pressing life necessities.
They are the most introverted of the types.
Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this kind have a intense desire for intensity of experience and intimacy. The blunt riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a room they automatically gravitate toward people they feel attracted to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can turn into intimacy addicts, often neglecting pressing obligations or even basic maintenance if they are infatuated with something that has captured them. This gives a wide ranging exploratory philosophy to life, but can also generate a lack of focus of one’s own priorities.
Social Instinct.
People of this type are preoccupied on their interactions with others and with the sense of value and esteem they derive from their involvement in collective activities. These include occupation, relationships, hobbies and clubs.
Upon entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the relationships and subtle politics between the different people and social circles. They are subconsciously focused on other’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to connect with others to feel secure, alive and energised. They seem to love interacting with people, but they eschew intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.
Within a personality, one of these Instincts will predominate. In fact these three variants can be ranked liked the sections of a cake, with the most dominant one at the top. The weakest one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These inherent instincts play an important role in our relationships because personalities of the same type tend to share values and understand each other completely, and therefore feel very compatible.
In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.
For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.
For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.