Relationship and Marriage counseling can help you discover how compatible you are.

The two most crucial factors that determine how similar you are as a couple are:

A similar degree of psychological health and maturity and a similar ranking of Instinctual Variants.

What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the natural energies or drives that are essentially part of us as humans. Our actions are highly engaged with and often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.

Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual type are often with the basic survival needs as they translate into our modern society, for example, money, food, accomodation, health, physical safety and comfort.
Being secure and physically comfortable are priorities, and they will often bring these supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice lighting, uncomfortable chairs, the room temperature, when the lunch break will be, and whether they will enjoy the food provided. They also tend to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of important necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.

Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this kind have a intense desire for intensity of experience and intimacy. The direct riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they gravitate toward people they feel magnetized to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy junkies, often ignoring pressing matters or even basic maintenance if they are swept up in something that has captured them. This gives a expansive exploratory approach to life, but can also give a lack of focus on one’s own achievements.

Social Instinct.
People of this type are focused on their interactions with others and with the sense of value and self esteem they derive from their participation in collective activities. These include work, relationships, side activities and clubs.
Upon entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the relationships and subtle politics between different people and groups. They are subconsciously attuned on other people’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to connect with others to feel safe, alive and energised. They tend to live for interacting with others, but they avoid intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.

Within a person, one of these three Instincts will predominate. In fact these three traits can be ordered like the sections of a cake, with the most predominant one at the top. The weakest one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These instincts play an important role in our relationships because personalities of the same variant tend to share values and understand each other innately, and therefore feel very compatible.

In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.

For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.

For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.

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